The Tom and Jack Podcast

It’ll Hop Straight Out Back to Its Lilypad

February 2, 2020

My fist is balled Tom & Jack up against the wall, pencil drawn. This is just the song to go ballistic on, you just pulled a pistol on the guy with the missile launcher. I'm just a Loch Ness, the mythological.

This week's podcast covers LinkedIn, work, Pop-up-Pirate (It's a Barrel of Fun), politeness, Spy Kids (HUSUFIAMM), Postman Pat People and Doubting Thomas. Oh and there's a Youtuber who films himself 12 hours after his girlfriend dies. Then tries to contact her on a ouija board. Good old fashioned family fun. All covered in Vloggers Gone Wild. No fireworks, no disasters. Originally broadcast 01/02/2020.

WATCH JACK BECOME A PORN STAR HERE

Here's the pitch video for Soft Lad Gyms Inc. (SLG)

And here's Tom's thing documenting the whole thing

Here's our INFAMOUS application for Hunted

Read Tom's full application for the Apprentice here.

Here's us learning to cook with Zoella.

Watch Japanese House Cafe

Interview we done

People Don’t Like Me Anyway

January 12, 2020

You waited this long to stop debating, 'cause I'm Tom & Jack, I'm on the rag and ovulating. I know you got a job Ms. Cheney but your husband's heart problem is complicating.

The Tom & Jack Podcast - brand new for 2020! This week there's debate over the new British army advert, advice on dealing with in-laws. Favourite characters such as Mark Francois and 'the Chucker' return. Postman Pat People are discussed, as is Tots TV. Tom is banned from TikTok. Jack is still a pornstar. The times they are a-changing. Why are you annoyed? Originally broadcast 12/01/2020.

WATCH JACK BECOME A PORN STAR HERE

Here's the pitch video for Soft Lad Gyms Inc. (SLG)

And here's Tom's thing documenting the whole thing

Here's our INFAMOUS application for Hunted

Read Tom's full application for the Apprentice here.

Here's us learning to cook with Zoella.

Watch Japanese House Cafe

Interview we done

The Christmas Special IV: Nothing’s Right Eat Quorn

December 22, 2019

And so this is Christmas for weak and for strong, (war is over if you want it) for the rich and the poor ones, the road is so long (war is over now). And so happy Christmas for Tom & Jack and for whites (war is over if you want it).

Hello. It's the most wonderful time of the year. There are festive what-annoyed-us(es), Jack tries to become a model in Reality Bustin' and the Tom & Jack Secret Santa is completed. There is a LOT of choice, abstract and provocative swearing this week. But we warned you. Privatise the police. Originally broadcast 22/12/2019.

WATCH JACK BECOME A PORN STAR HERE

Here's the pitch video for Soft Lad Gyms Inc. (SLG)

And here's Tom's thing documenting the whole thing

Here's our INFAMOUS application for Hunted

Read Tom's full application for the Apprentice here.

Here's us learning to cook with Zoella.

Watch Japanese House Cafe

Interview we done

Jack in the Porn

November 18, 2019

All Is Porn - The words of the Preacher, the son of David, king in Jerusalem. Porn of porns, says the Preacher, porn of pornities! All is.

This will forever be remembered as the episode where Jack realised - to his cost - he had become a pornstar. There's also lugubrious chat and sniping aplenty. Talk ranges from words, 'shoemakers', Tory twitter and Nazi market stalls. Then Jack proves Tom's wrath just and right by airing his personal business in public - forgetting that his own sloth had left him unable to take an editorial control. Then he became, justifiably some are saying, a star of the porn. Aren't all words? Originally broadcast 16/11/2019.

WATCH JACK BECOME A PORN STAR HERE

Here's the pitch video for Soft Lad Gyms Inc. (SLG)

And here's Tom's thing documenting the whole thing

Here's our INFAMOUS application for Hunted

Read Tom's full application for the Apprentice here.

Here's us learning to cook with Zoella.

Watch Japanese House Cafe

Interview we done

BONUS: KSI vs Logan Paul 2: This Time It’s Worth Even More Money

November 11, 2019

For the fight of the year two boxing obsessives come together to give you the commentary you deserve. Insider gossip, behind the scenes action and debates which cut to the very core of the boxing. Also taking in such classic boxing topics as Frank Oz's limited range, Mark Wahlberg and PE teachers. A clash of the vloggers - the unofficial commentary, right here. As far as we can recall, to the best of our memory we watched this legally. Originally broadcast 10/11/2019.

Here's the pitch video for Soft Lad Gyms Inc. (SLG)

And here's Tom's thing documenting the whole thing

Here's our INFAMOUS application for Hunted

Read Tom's full application for the Apprentice here.

Here's us learning to cook with Zoella.

Watch Japanese House Cafe

Interview we done

Tranquillised Barry White

November 2, 2019

We've suffered the breaks. You know I still remember it, it keeps burning away, I know that you may take a while to come Tom & Jack around. This week features Star Trek, Budapest, our own biopics and a mistaken identity KSI-case. What Annoyed Us? Thanks for asking - well, racist royals, escape rooms and multi-nationals. Plus there's a bally old case of the rugger. Cloverfields, faasands of 'em . Originally broadcast 02/11/2019.

Here's the pitch video for Soft Lad Gyms Inc. (SLG)

And here's Tom's thing documenting the whole thing

Here's our INFAMOUS application for Hunted

Read Tom's full application for the Apprentice here.

Here's us learning to cook with Zoella.

Watch Japanese House Cafe

Interview we done

Repatriation: a Thomas Cook Story

October 14, 2019

I sit Tom & Jack with this pack of Zig-Zag's and this bag of this weed, it gives me the s**t needed to be, the most meanest MC on this—on this Earth.

This week there's tales from the front of being involved in the biggest repatriation since Dunkirk. Lions led by donkeys. Here's a Thing What Annoyed Us - everything but also McDonald's, powercuts and seat stealers. We touch base with the world of vanity in Vloggers Gone Wild and discuss Thomas Crook and baked beans. I haven't tasted fish like that since my wife died. Originally broadcast 14/10/2019.

Here's the pitch video for Soft Lad Gyms Inc. (SLG)

And here's Tom's thing documenting the whole thing

Here's our INFAMOUS application for Hunted

Read Tom's full application for the Apprentice here.

Here's us learning to cook with Zoella.

Watch Japanese House Cafe

Interview we done

I’ve Got No More Masculate to Im

September 8, 2019

While my mother waters plants, my father loads his gun. He says death will give us Tom & Jack to god, just like the setting sun, its return to the lonesome ocean.

This week the Things What Have Annoyed Us are a homeless Inspector Gadget coat, Willy Wonka and dogging. In Reality Bustin' we plan to get on the Mail Online, boycott Whispnade Zoo and branch into merchandise with our own range of cards. Plus chat about MK1, Rick Waller, barbeques, Play Your Cards Right, Sunday Headaches, the Queen and Tony Blair. Originally broadcast 08/09/2019.

Here's the pitch video for Soft Lad Gyms Inc. (SLG)

And here's Tom's thing documenting the whole thing

Here's our INFAMOUS application for Hunted

Read Tom's full application for the Apprentice here.

Here's us learning to cook with Zoella.

Watch Japanese House Cafe

Interview we done

What Would You Like Me to Do?

August 18, 2019

He was a skater boy, she said, "see you later, boy", he wasn't good enough for her. She had a pretty face but her head was up in space, she needed to come Tom & Jack down to Earth.

This week that was there's chat about scouts (again), holiday biscuits and how chocolate bars can help you identify health issues. We beg the zoo to let us be bitten by an animal in honour of Mike Posner, Air B'n'Bs and bonfires Annoyed Us This Week and we respond to the Ingham family's response to us. Respond. I did leave a Tazmanian Devil in the toilet. Original broadcast 18/08/2019.

Here's the pitch video for Soft Lad Gyms Inc. (SLG)

And here's Tom's thing documenting the whole thing

Here's our INFAMOUS application for Hunted

Read Tom's full application for the Apprentice here.

Here's us learning to cook with Zoella.

Watch Japanese House Cafe

Interview we done

With Our Glass-Eyed Mannequins

July 27, 2019

Oh, what a night. Late December Tom & Jack in '63. What a very special time for me, as I remember, what a night.

This week there's talk of degrees, plastic and the new wave of satire being surfed. Things what annoyed us this week included haircuts, wasps, aftershave, appalling train services and bus people. Plus the murky world of vloggers is revisited in Vloggers Gone Wild - this week the Ingham family are selling a plastic copy of their new born child for a very reasonable price. Download please. SEND STRING TO NORTHWESTERN RAIL - the fire is lit. Originally broadcast 26/07/2019.

Here's the pitch video for Soft Lad Gyms Inc. (SLG)

And here's Tom's thing documenting the whole thing

Here's our INFAMOUS application for Hunted

Read Tom's full application for the Apprentice here.

Here's us learning to cook with Zoella.

Watch Japanese House Cafe

Interview we done